Month: September 2015

This Squash-Themed Spice Latte is Better than Pumpkin — and Starbucks HATES It!

Pumpkin Spice? More like bumpkin spice.

You’ll never guess which squash is about to quash a coffee classic (since 2010) — it’s leaner, meaner, greener, and healthier too(!)

Gourd-lovers, Ugg-wearers, and coffee-photographers agree: zucchini spice lattes are poised to be this fall’s beverage of choice, according to Gourdman’s Coffee Digest.

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Zucchini Spice Latte?

“It like, just, you know, brings more of the other seasons,” enthused grad student Korinthia Green, 28. “I like how the green reminds me of summer, spring, and some parts of winter.”

“Zucchini spice is richer in vitamins, irons, antioxidants, riboflavins, free radicals, and organics, making it a clear health #win over pumpkin spice,” claims food scientist Zak Bentham, 14.

Not everyone is thrilled about 2015’s Best New Flavor.

“It sucks,” asserted Braham Teeter, owner of Starbucks Pumpkin Patch and Farms in Hickwood, NE. “What’s next, Acorn Spice Lattes? Potato Squash Spice Lattes? Butternut Squash Spice—wait, that actually sounds kinda good.”

Still, every squash deserves its season, and this fall, it’s all about the #ZSL.

Ever Had the World’s Best Anything?

If you’ve seen the film Elf, great. If you’ve not, keep reading anyway.

This recent Christmas classic leaves me with two provoking thoughts:

  1. How are candy corns one of the four main food groups (alongside candy, candy canes, and syrup)? The season is wrong (Halloween), they’re awful, and they’re no good.
  2. Have I ever had the World’s Best Anything?

For the latter, there’s a scene when Buddy the Elf runs by a New York coffeeshop proclaiming to have the ‘World’s Best Cup of Coffee.” I won’t spoil the movie’s most crucial twist, but suffice it to say: it’s not the World’s Best. Not even close.

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Image courtesy of New Line Cinema

Then again, how would I know?

The closest I might have gotten would be a rack of lamb back in Iceland at Kaffi Duus. Or (heh) coffee from Camano Island Coffee Roasters. Or bulgogi that my foreign exchange Korean roommate once whipped up. All great things, sure.

But I don’t suppose I’ve had the World’s Best anything, and I’d venture to say you haven’t either.

Or have you?

Name Change

Call it a risk, hedge, optimistic view of the future, whatever — I’ve tacked my name onto good ol’ Writing All Wrong. You can now reach this wretched hive of scum at HunterHansen.net

Why?

I hope to bring The Last Travels of Sir Michael Zazu to light, and I figure I’ll need some sort of web destination to match up to Google searches for “hunter hansen author sucks” when it comes time.

Speaking of Google searches, I had this gem come up when doing research on stabbing. No, really.

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Squirrel? 

H2