Tag: autistic

Eight Words That Kickstarted The Life Autistic on YouTube

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I can’t believe I’m doing this.

I have every reason not to. Not enough time. Bad lighting. No good equipment. No time, period. A weirdly de-nasal voice. I’m a better writer than personality. I don’t have that many great stories. My advice is terrible. My experience is too niche.

But after meeting with my mentor this month (a brilliant creator in his own right), he shared an eight-word phrase that finally put me over from “simmer” to “boil.”

The YouTube step has been a long time coming. And I’ve dug my heels in, like, well, y’know, how we autistic people can do.

People have said things. I’ve gotten comments about my presentations at work (“You present like you’re a YouTuber, and I expected you to end with ‘Be sure to Like and Subscribe“), my analysis delivery (“I’m surprised you’re here and not on YouTube”) and about my blog, from my brother (“Bro, you should just do YouTube”).

I began to notice a bit of a trend here.

And while I’d kept it in orbit as an idea meteor, it didn’t start hurtling into my atmosphere until my latest meeting with my mentor: Brandon Vaughn, a professed and practiced statistical impresario and musical aficionado who dual wields two Ph.Ds and sports tie-dye tees as a uniform. He’s as close as you get to a real-life Doctor Strange, but with a lot less mastery of mystic arts, but a lot more grace and humility. He’s the best.

After talking a little bit of shop and some other work changes, he dropped an honest assessment on me and my career, the last eight words of which rang long after:

“You’re an interesting character, and I don’t see you being a company man.“

No, I’m not leaving my company. Yes, I’m proud of my career. But I’ve had to reckon with some honesty about where I’m at, what this season is like, and where I’m finding the room to grow.

And that growth, right now, is in what I share on autism and how I share it.

Brandon helped me realize where my message (on the autistic experience and more) would connect with people on a different level, in an area that didn’t lean so much on my own writing skill, but through a medium that might resonate more relationally. 

“That’s why I think you should consider something like YouTube, honestly,” he said.

I think I’d heard that before.

So we’re just “gonna do it.”

The Life Autistic will be on YouTube. In fact, it’s there now. I don’t have all the details or the schedule or the content. And while I’m kinda worried and not looking forward to the ebb and flow of disappointment, discovery, and delight, I am glad to be giving this a go.

And while I don’t have anything just yet (but soon!), feel free to — sigh — Like and Subscribe to Hunter Hansen – The Life Autistic on YouTube.

thanks 🙂

I’m excited about embarking on this “pivot to video” journey in sharing more about autism – but don’t worry, we’ll still be keeping the posts coming here! To learn more about autism from an autistic person’s perspective, follow & subscribe to The Life Autistic here and on YouTube — or follow the more whimsical, spontaneous, and amusing content on Twitter / Instagram. Thanks!

 

 

The BIGGEST Problem with the “High Functioning” Autism Label

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Hey Reddit: this is worth your watch too!

Here lies Hunter, a “high functioning” autistic person.

This wasn’t just a photo op. This was me. During a workday. Vacant. Listless. Crushed.  Anything but “high functioning.”

I once used this label, but you can clearly see the problem here. While may seem like functioning labels help, they can’t capture the key challenges in The Life Autistic.

When most people hear “high functioning,” they think “well adjusted, independent, socially awkward, quirky, but overall highly focused, put together, maintains professional decorum, despite some weirdness.” 

And then the opposite, where people assume “lower functioning” in more dependent autistic people, the ones who “haven’t overcome their depression” and can’t hold steady job performance, remain prone to languorous spells, and can’t always be “on top of their stuff.”

Those people can be one and the same.

It’s embarrassing to admit that, despite my efforts, achievements, and relative professional success — I can’t always be 100%. Some days it’s embarrassingly close to 0%.

And I’m a family man — wife, three daughters, two dogs — I support a household!

You would expect that kind of person, husband, father, worker, data professional to have it mostly together and stay above the fray all of the time.

I don’t.

And we don’t.

The biggest problem with the “high functioning” autism label is that it assumes we can function highly all or most of the time. 

I don’t.

And we don’t.

I tried everything that day, and just nothing worked to kick me out of a mental, emotional, functional stupor. My only success was not canceling the meetings I had for the day, in a teeth-gritting effort to summon a smile and conduct some business over web chat. But for most the day, I sunk and stayed sunk in the danker parts of an autistic cave.

There’s no “tips” or “tricks” today.

Just truth.

Even among the “best” of us, even in doing our best, we are always one brush away from our worst—function be damned.

I do hope this helped offer some perspective on how we autistic people function day-to-day. Even when it’s “high” for some of us, it’s not always high. To discover more about autism from an autistic person’s perspective, follow & subscribe to The Life Autistic – or follow the more whimsical, spontaneous, and amusing content on Twitter / Instagram. Thanks.

Five Easy Ways to BEST Work with Autistic People

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The other day, I was in discussions about taking on a project, a talk going so swimmingly that I joked about ending 45 minutes early..

Then we came to an item where I wouldn’t budge. But neither would they.

*brakes screeching*

I’m either one of the easiest people you’ll work with, or I’m one of the most difficult. There is no in-between. But the good news?

You can choose the easy option.

You might have autistic co-workers or other autistic relations in your life. If you’ve ever thought “I wish it were easier to get along/work with/handle this person,” then the answers are:

  1. We wish that too.
  2. Don’t wish when you can understand and act.

So here are my five easy ways to best work with (not against) autistic people like me.

Don’t play to win on your terms. Remember Words with Friends? I was unbeatable, not because of my vocabulary. I played an impenetrable defensive strategy. Everyone lost when they tried to win their way. We autistic people are often more guarded and defensive; if you try to break that down, we’ll hunker down. But if you’re willing to let us be as guarded and defensive for you, then that’s our win, together.

Work harder on the setup. In my printing presswork, the majority of the effort was setup — if we got that right, we could crank out jobs seamlessly for hours. My autistic tendency is to bristle when too frequently interrupted, intruded, steered. If you approach work more up front and just let us run with things thereafter and remain focused, we’ll work great!

Be ready to be curious. We have probably thought out our “defense” more than you have your “offense.” We’re not trying to be difficult or intractable – we’re just reflexively protective of our comfort, capabilities, and competency. The people who get the most out of me are those who engage my curiosity, trick me into wanting to solve a problem, and give me the liberty to work in a way where I’m comfortable and not conflicted. (If you’re one of my stakeholders/customers, please don’t abuse this, LOL)

Resolve — don’t flatten — objections. As a teenager, I once pitched a fit because my mom shot down my request to go to a Thai place instead of her idea: The Cheesecake Factory. I thought they just served cheesecake, so I objected. While I was happy to discover I was kinda wrong, I’d have LOVED to have had this more thoughtfully solved, like “Hunter, you probably want spicy Asian food — the Cheesecake Factory has enormous portions, with deserts, and a substantial Asian food selection. I’ve been there, and none of us have been to Thai Cafe whatever – and I know what you like. We should go.”

Take our side first – trust me. Like FBI Lead International Kidnapping Negotiator Chris Voss would advise, get a “That’s right!” out of someone, not a “You’re right.” Like many other autistic people, if I need convincing, the “appeal to people” aspect often falls flat. But get us bought in on an idea, something we can internally acknowledge, assent, celebrate — and then incorporate — we might even defend your side of things better than you can! The hardest ones to face across the table are the ones you want most on your side.

We are definitely more different than we are difficult, and I hope these five steps help explain that difference. They help us. To learn more about autism from an autistic person’s perspective, follow & subscribe to The Life Autistic – or follow the more whimsical, spontaneous, and amusing content on Twitter / Instagram. Thanks!