Don’t Assume, Do Specify – Breakfast with Autism

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When my mom orders a dozen of something through a drive-thru, she’ll say “a dozen [whatevers] . . . TWELVE.” 

That’s all because of one order a long while ago, when my parents ordered a dozen biscuits from a Hardee’s. The cashier paused for a second too long, then asked:

“How many is that?” 

We all laugh. Then I remember.

People kinda have to do similar with me. 

Just the other day, Mrs. H2 asked for

  1. two slices of toast
  2. with homemade jam
  3. that we just got as a gift

Ok, that’s easy. So I

  1. toasted two slices of bread
  2. applied the homemade jam
  3. that we got as a gift

I bring it over. She asks: did you butter this?

Let’s look over items 1, 2, and 3 again.

Toast. Jam. Specifically, the gifted jam. There’s no butter.

“No, I didn’t butter it?”

My best (also breakfast-related mishap) was when I was sent to get “plain old Maple syrup” — here were my options:

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Did I pick the wrong “plain old Maple syrup?”

Of course I did.

This is why The Life Autistic is just hard. There are so many assumed, unspoken specifics we just miss. 

We can try. It’s a learning process, bizarre as it sounds. But in the meantime:

Don’t assume; do specify!

We’re working on this, and it’s ok for y’all to be specific, spelling things out, and making sure you’re coming across as unambiguous. It’ll help!



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