The Life Autistic: Episode One

Screen Shot 2018-05-10 at 3.12.43 PM.pngHi, I’m Hunter.

My story isn’t remarkable. Not yet, anyway.

I started working at 15, graduated from high school and left home at 16, and earned my Bachelor’s in English and in History before I was 21. I moved to Colorado on my own, married my college sweetheart not long after, and I got a job with Apple (corporate), which I’ve held and improved upon for nearly ten years. I own a house, I have a few friends, and I’m a ridiculously proud father to two lovely daughters.

And I’m autistic. 

That entire paragraph up there is normal (nay, expected) fare for most “neurotypical” people.

But I’m not one of those people.

“Normal” was never in the cards. Even what you’d consider “normal” achievement was and is abnormal for me – and many like me.

Given my place on the spectrum, I tend to the vicious end of self-criticality. So I’ve asked myself: “Who cares about this story?” 

You might care.

Maybe you have a child who’s just different. And you’ve thought about the dreaded ‘A’ word. And you don’t know how that difference pans out. Will they be independent? Will they succeed in life? Will they love and be loved? What does their future hold?

Maybe there’s an acquaintance who’s in their own world, and you’ve wondered—for a millisecond—what is up with them? Maybe you want to care, but you can’t quite tell if there’s something wrong with them or if they’re just, y’know, weird.

Maybe it’s an employee, boss, or co-worker — someone in your work orbit who’s off the typical axis. They stand out, sometimes in good and bad ways, and you can’t quite put a finger on why that is.

Maybe it’s your spouse, partner, loved one, and you’re not sure how much of them is “them” and how much is their autistic bent.

Maybe you actually know me. Or, at least you thought you did. Well, now you know.

Maybe you’re curious to hear about autism from someone who isn’t commenting from outside of it.

Maybe it’s you. You’re one of those “weirdos,” and someone else’s spectrum experience might be amusing and worth reading.

I want to turn embarrassment into embrace, ambiguity into clarity, and silence into voice. Autism is not a death sentence; it’s very much a compound-complex sentence, at times contradictory and labyrinthine, but always meaningful, profound, alive.

Autism is complicated. I don’t have all the answers.

But I do have a story.

Goodbye, Writing All Wrong. Hello, [something totally new].

After many long years under the Writing All Wrong tent, I’ve decided to move on from the moniker, theme, and writing critic brand.

I enjoyed the experiment, but it was a niche voice in a drowning void.

There’s another story I’d rather tell.

It’s more personal. Profound.

Frankly, I’m a bit apprehensive. But it’s a compelling narrative for an audience that might be waiting.

It’s a story in which there are too few storytellers.

So I’ll be telling mine.

Stay tuned.

 

The Seas are Nothing

1280px-Sunrise_after_storm_over_the_Solent.jpg

The seas are nothing but exigent provokers of wrath. Immense. Powerful. Suggestive of endlessness. Insanity. Depths invisible. Breadth encompassing. Calm only in the fleeting erasure of the serenity scarce remembered.

It beats back, and there you have waves. Nothing else impressed but the mist, maybe the sky. There’s vengeance somewhere, perhaps in the air, or indwelled within impetuous spirit, soul hollowed.

Its emptiness would only beget the kind of tindering rage better befit for shivering land, not squelched within shower upon shower upon hour upon spittle upon spite.

Conspiring clouds, yes, they’ll cackle too. Mock you, even. Clapping you awake. Fogging over joy. Numbing the vista. Warping the distance.

The seas are nothing.

Your ship is everything.