I might be the most anti-millennial millennial out there, but I’ll admit: I don’t mind a good #hashtag every now and then.
They’re great for laughs, trends, retweets, social change (lol), and all sorts of pulses on the effluent of social media.
Jesus wept (and it’s all your fault). #sad #lostsheep #sorrow
But there’s one hashtag that needs to die. And fast. You probably use it, and if you do, it makes Jesus cry:
Continue reading “Using This One Hashtag Will Make Jesus Cry”
In my previous post, I discussed people giving parenting advice. But those lessons aren’t learned overnight.
In the meantime, you might have to endure such gems as:
“Only ten pounds at four weeks? You should start feeding her cereal.”
“I don’t see what all the fuss is about — if your newborn can sleep at night on his stomach, let him!”
“Back in my day, [insert any comment whatsoever here].”
“But where am I supposed to find castor oil?”
If I had a nickel for each time I heard things like that, I’d have a lot of nickels. But since that’s not how any of this works, here are some helpful ways to cope with unsolicited parenting advice:
Continue reading “How to React to Unsolicited Parenting Advice (Without Exploding!)”
Every adjective needs a noun, but not every noun needs an adjective. Or something. It is indeed not a truth universally acknowledged that a powerful noun, object, thing is in need of some equally powerful, poignant, cheesy modifier.
We’re all guilty.
That’s why we’re Writing All Wrong.
Dear Writing All Wrong:
I know that you sometimes review writing, and you’re pribably [sic] going to make fun of me for it. That’s OK though, because I don’t think you get a lot of emails because people think you’re too mean. That’s also OK, because you’ll probably point out something I should be working on anyway. Anyway, here’s the first couple of chapters of my book, Unfinished Dawn.
[CHAPTERS REDACTED] (sorry.)
—Jeremy Stark, Westerville, Ohio.
You’re absolutely right. I’ll make fun of you. I am too mean. I don’t get a lot of email. And I’ll point out things you should be working on anyway. Like adjectives and modifiers.
“coiled, razor-sharp, Concertina wire” — Glad you cleared up the confusion here, since Concertina wire comes in a “fluffy bunny” variety.
“smoldering remains and scattered ruins” — Other than ‘and,’ the rest of these words can go.
“He peered grimly through the charcoal ichor of foglike black ephemera.” — This sounds like what a chimney sweep would write about himself to make his work seem interesting.
“He was heavily armed with an AA-12 Automatic shotgun, a potent pair of Glock G26 9mm subcompact pistols, M67 fragmentations grenades strung together like cloves of garlic on his sash, and a custom-designed IMI Tavor TAR-21 assault rifle.” — Too many numbers, clumsy mixed metaphors, weak modifiers (“custom-designed?”). Are you writing gun-owner fanfic here, or are you going to include a copy of Solider of Fortune for reference?
“The now-cool black clouds of night’s closing pages were turned by the warm, gentle fingers of amberlike dawn’s eager arrival.” — There’s a word for this: sunrise. Use that.
If you’re doing more describing than you are writing, you’re doing it wrong.
Writing All Wrong can be reached via email (WritingAllWrong@me.com) and followed on Twitter (@WritingAllWrong).
The Life Autistic 
